We are both quite healthy but she has little interesting sex now. But we didnt know what we had. 30 years in sexless marriage. My husband will not have sex with me anymore. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Join us online to gain access to exclusive benefits and opportunities only for Senior Planet Supporters! Get your answer. Hormonal changes, which can start as early as your 20s, can also be root causes of low sex drive. I think it was William Shakespeare who pondered what an irony it was that desire usually so outlasts ability. With kids and work schedules, it can unfortunately become easy to put date night on the back burner, but there are plenty of reasons to make it a priority in your week. Make time when you are both relaxed. Thanks Buck for being brutally honest, I can relate to it and know how much painful it is, seeing your wife everyday but I cant even hold her because shell embarrass me with a comeback that all I want is sex and Ill get humiliated and will just eventually die inside. People need to be kept warmed up all the time before things can get hot again, they need to feel wanted, appreciated and valued before they actually want sex and are in the mood for sex. And yeah I can pleasure myself, but that will never be like the real thing. There are physical and emotion consequences to withholding sex from a partner. It is sad and hurtful and I felt she only did me favor to have sex with me.. We have 3 young kids so divorce is not an option and I had been sleeping in guest room for almost 6 months now.. While my wife does not do drugs or anything like that, she has lost the interest for sex. Now, for the past several months, we go to bed together and after I have fallen asleep, he starts masterbating and the shaking of the bed awakens me. I am 62 and much healthier than my wife. I am talking about virtual reality and toys for Men like the flesh light, that can at least make the situation bearable. Its strictly psychological as I have no problems when alone or watching porn, which she is totally against. But each night i rub her feet and tickle her thighs..she just lays there ..and I go out and sleep in a recliner. If shes willing, find a therapist who will help you and your wife talk about this and really listen to each otherand if she wont go, go on your own. Im leaving when I can stash away the cash. Before I married my second wife, Vicky told me she made a terrible mistake, still loves me and wanted back. Or should I just accept her celibacy and masturbate when I need release? I am 60 soon and dread having to try and start again. Counseling is usually the way out but unfortunately most people in a relationship dont want to go that route (or at least one of them doesnt). Slept in basement for a few years until I built my own space that had an apartment and work shop. I am afraid Buck is correct. You talk about your wife not being in the mood. Thats an elusive state when were not driven by our hormones. Now when it comes to my receiving oral sex to orgasm? Suddenly it all makes sense. She knows this is a psychological problem and doesnt reflect how I feel about her. I do not believe love will demand it as a duty but love also doesnt hand over the relationship to the destructive forces and temptations, The older I get the more confident I am I hate her for cheating me out of sex. They need not be. The scenario you posited is anything but. Tired of initiating intimacy? Hello Mary I can imagine how frustrating it it is for you.I am 65 years old and my wife is 64.My wife is on anti-depressants and she says that she has no desire for sex We have been married for 44 years now.I last had sex about 8 years ago My wife is a very beautiful woman and I am absolutely so frustrated and find that looking at porn and mastubating is not ideal anymore, What I need is a woman, but I am afraid to approach another woman for sex for the fear of rejection, I do not want to have sex with a prostitute. I self reflected and starting cooking again, especially on her late nights. In the end, she doesnt want it and I have stopped caring. Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life. Perfectly happy and have intention to change it. */ . For me, its been 8x in 3 yearsand Ive tried talking about it with him as frequency has dwindled to essentially nothing. Leave her, even if youre alone. Married 10 years!!!! Im 65 and he is 74. After all of that, the thought of intimacy at night becomes almost like another chore, says Gopa. When someone Denys you something so fundamentally important, it is Not Cheating to Adding, However, just because your wife avoids physical contact doesnt necessarily mean theres bound to be infidelity involved. Ive moved on!!! I promised her I wouldnt embarrass her or shame her in front of family, friends, or church with an affair. . Think of the biblical verse Ecclesiastes 3. I actually stopped having sex with her last night because she told me to hurry up. Yeah, wrinkles and less hair (me), but sex is as good as ever! Your husband is a very lucky man. So I disagree when people say leave the marriage as soon as the sex stops. If they need get that only from you, so be it. Regardless of the reason your wife has pulled away from you, you must confront the situation. I would do just about anything to have a willing partner like you! You have (understandable) guilt and shame about sex, undoubtedly influenced by your current predicament and the old trauma of feeling rejected during your first long-term partnership. Because then who leads? When we first met, we had sex 2X a day morning and night. I only basically feel good enough to have pretty good days. I love her but I need sex I cant survive with masturbation, being with a woman and everything that goes with it is so important to me. We are both active and healthy. Not once does he try to get her off, he just rolls over and goes to sleep. If you deny one you put a wall around the other. I have no idea what to do. She has owned her own retail furniture store for 10 years and has expressed her desire to sell and get a job until retirement. For a short time shed schedule sex once a week whether or not she felt like itbut then menopause hit and sex dwindled again, diminishing to once or twice a year until we stopped having sex altogether. If that's true for your marriage, your wife may be holding onto some resentment over the imbalance. This was an enlightening comment and reflects what has been my marriage for 35 years. She said, YOU WILL LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN?! Then theres the masturbation/porn thing. You definitely dont get it. If you are not. My wife I encourage to have her hobbies and she is a nice person. Thats great but what about the man? Why would he ever have too? Now that you know that this could also be the reason why your wife avoids physical contact, you need to be her rock and convince her that you still think shes as beautiful as the day when you first met her. Self-love is the answer, but you can help, too. I understand that kids, work, and home projects can weaken your romantic side over time, but it doesnt have to be that way. In most cases, Ive seen that when one partner is depressed, after a period of time, the other starts to feel depressed as well. None the less partners have to also accept it is something you dont get used to or get over. But then she had a full hysterectomy to further reduce her hormone production, and from then on, sex has all but stopped. Try to keep things fun and adventurous between the sheets so that your wife is unable to resist you. She wont do therapy and I dont want sex because someone forces her to. The one thing she always wants when she touches me is that I come on her tits.which I love. She is intelligent and knows exactly what is going on. Maybe when she met you she saw a very rich lifestyle that has not panned out. Your Wife Seems Uncomfortable When You Initiate Foreplay. Took my wife to Paris, on our 25th wedding anniversary and rented the most romantic flat next to the Eiffel Tower. My son is in an open marriage (I know this because he and his wife talk about it openly) and it opened my eyes to the reality that it is unrealistic to expect one person to be able to satisfy all of your sexual needs. If you search my wife wont touch me sexually, it may be time to stop thinking about sex and start thinking about dating. A pill? We are both in our Sixties now and have been married for over 35 years and apart for a few occasions, birthdays etc my wife just hasnt been interested. You are not catering to her sexual needs, How To Survive A Sexless Marriage Without Cheating, build a successful relationship after cheating, communication exercises with your partner, 10 Things To Do When You Are Drifting Apart In Your Relationship. Go out and kill a hog, punch a younger guy in the face, ride a harley, do a steroid cycle. I could do as well financially as a single person and there are women who would be happy with what I can provide, both financially and intimately. He may still be impotent after surgery, no guarantees. My first wife and I married when we were 21. I am not happy at not having anymore sex in my life at age 64, but I do care for her and she does care for me, not in the sexual way of course. Spice up your appearance. Signs My Husband Isn't Attracted To Me: 24 Warnings & Ways To Win Love My wife and I lost our beloved son several years ago. I suggest that you forget about sex and focus more on hugging, cuddling and kissing. Withholding sex as punishment is hostile you deserve better. When a woman has to live with her in-laws, its a major change from the way she had been living before. Its ridiculous. 2 children later sex was still fun. But if he cared for me a hug would be nice. My wife and I are celebrating 48 years together in January. I finally asked him he said I was crab and mad all the time, I have a lot of pain and take a lot of meds sometime, and yes I am very unhappy with my life, but I try to hid it. I love him and am a bad lier, so using masturbation as a release. We have had little to no connection with them since. It is equally open to the man to be charitable by eating alone. Here after all of this, what I am trying to say Stan, is if you feel as if your wife really and truly does not want to have anything to do with sex, maybe, as with my wife, her spirit has been broken and if that is the case, she very much needs your understanding more than ever before in your marriage. I have the sex drive I had when I was 20, and I feel like me again. Ya over 40 years with out not a problem. Recently, he has been distant unloving and disrespectful towards me. Be truthful. What to do about it: Make sure your wife has some time to herself to relax and feel restored. Having children may be one reason intimacy has decreased in your marriage, but it is not the only reason. She doesnt even let me see her naked. I guess I must count my blessings. He is always sitting alone. Sounds to me like youve picking your men from the bar. Q: My wife, late 40s, has been experiencing early menopause for a couple of years.

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