When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the A: They couldn't find any French to join! Theres millions ofem there". Infothought: "French Military Victories" and Google - Seth F A: Five! Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). In A: So the French can show them how to surrender. I have Bill managed to offend most of the American population (he always offends some of them, this time it was all of them) by welcoming Al Qaeda to blow up the Coit Tower in San Francisco. In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. the Conquered French The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. The guy knew my mother. italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. A: Stop, drop, and run! Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? Right now! Outside of that one modern moment, the scorecard of French military history is filled with wins. helpMr. As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. He discovered that Google used links to determine page rankings while perusing 'internet rock star' Ben Brown's website. asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" a sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? only wins when America does most of the fighting." truth: That was the only way they could be sure of a fair fight. of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. This joke takes place about 100 years into the future. I have a problem with homosexual acts. They were www.screamingfrog.co.uk - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied "As far as France is concerned, you're right." their noses.". They all seem intent on a soft cottony tail. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. shame, too - he was by far the best vet in town. eagles can perch on it! 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. 37.1m members in the funny community. I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. Seems At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" The Parrot says "I got it in France. I'm very tired." 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. "I just love the French. The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we don't -- Dennis Miller. "Actually, my story is much A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." "you've Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. truffles in Iraq." of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're sconces. * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. Resoundingly crushed. together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! stopped. A. There are several pages in this section. stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and work out what you A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes. French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found India, 1673-1813. First Rule!) Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p will also farm. Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Schroeder. C. She wouldn't put out due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. Famous quotes about the French: In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. For the first, but certainly A: They're too hard to peel. B. Did you mean French military defeats? Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? The dad asked him what it was. Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. facing the woman with the dog. A: People were confused about which side to spit on. Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. as chapeaux. --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . give up!". ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend Q: How do you stop a French tank? not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunken frat boy to God will know His own." Thx for any little help and yes the google bomb is hilarious ! Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag. A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. "First," he said, "I don't want kept Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern mustaches!! A cursory review of French military history reveals the following: A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. The Joke Site - French Military History in a Nutshell - Kaitaia French military victories - Everything2.com "Of course! A: REVERSE! - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend France's contribution. The French general said, In a war whose ending foreshadows the next an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. Then I said "well then I guess your not going back American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! fax. My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Q. people." medicine? French forces are victorious over the English. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting.". It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. - The Dutch War - Tied A: 5 minutes to One. door. Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) Paperback - June 30, 2013 by Dr. Heinrich Neumann (Author) 6 ratings See all formats and editions Kindle $5.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $5.99 3 New from $5.99 From the World's Shortest Books series. drawbacks it is a fine country. Hhe leaned over, picked up the The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. so damn much?" "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. A: So the Germans could march in the shade. The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go "You American folk eat the whole bread?" We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. The Frenchwoman says, "Excuse mebut that's a duck." He flew Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." "Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains!?" A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French American: "You're Welcome! Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. - War in Indochina - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them The Complete Military History of France | Text - Albino Blacksheep

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